In  a previous post, I referred to Beth Moore’s idea to use the spiral bound note card book  to memorize scripture.  We can do this for kids as well.  I have a couple of ideas. 

Let’s create a Good Thoughts Book  using one of the spiral bound note card books.  On a separate sheet of paper, start by writing down the negative phrases your child tells you, as many as you can think of.  Then, change their negative phrase to the positive, “I can do it”.  “I might be scared, but I can help myself relax”.  “I am safe”.  “I’m afraid, but I’m ok”.  “My mom is just in the other room”. “My mommy and daddy love me”.  ”I’m alright”.  I would write the phrases down in different color marker, or have the kids help do this in the book.  It’s easier for some kids to memorize things when you change the color.   If you don’t have enough affirmations, search for positive affirmations online and you will come up with more than you need.  I would start with about 8-10.  You can add more as they memorize.  They don’t have to believe it yet.  Just reading these through a couple of times each night together will help commit them to memory and they will be able recall the phrases when they need them.  It will also help you to have some quick responses when you see the anxiety beginning to get out of control.

THEN, tie a memory verse to it. (Practice one for a week or two until you both have it memorized.)

 The negative thought.     What does God say?

“It’s impossible”         All things are possible with God (Luke 18:27)

 ”I can’t do it”          You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength (Philippians 4:13)

 ”I’m afraid”        God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control (II Timothy 1:7)

 ”I’m always worried”       Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you(I Peter 5:7)

 ”I feel all alone”        God said, “I will never fail you, I will never leave you” (Hebrews 13: 5)

So before you go to bed, practice calming breaths.  3-5 deep breaths while thinking, “I am relaxing my body”.  Read your Good Thoughts Book along with your other bed time story.  Don’t forget to say your prayers. 

One more anxiety note.  I always think it is helpful to remind kids to “blow it out”.  I don’t use the word “breathe”.  They tend to hold their breath when anxious and can’t figure out how to get a breath when they need one. When I see they are struggling I will gently say, “Blow it out…  Blow it out….  think birthday cake candles…lots of birthday cake candles.”  I show them what I want them to do by breathing with them at the tempo I want them to breathe.  Usually they will yell, “I can’t”.  Crying and yelling doesn’t help. I keep breathing and remind them “in through the nose and out through the mouth, slow calm breaths”.  The calmer you can stay, the quicker they will be able to calm down.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice. Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:4-8 (New International Version) 

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exisits and that He rewards those who earnestly see Him.

Wow, there really is nothing like having your faith tested…faith in yourself, as a parent, as an employee, as a Christian, as a friend.  It all hurts.   But, it is truly when my faith is tested that I seek the Lord and He proves to me time and time again that He is a father deserving of my faith. 

So, when our faith is tested, what are we to do?  We are to seek Him.  He wants us to know that the only way to get through this life is with Him. Happy, sad, whatever the emotion, we are meant to share it with Him.  He wants us to converse with Him, because He loves us. 

As a mother, I have been struggling to get one of my children to talk to me about feelings.  The general response is, “Talking about it doesn’t help, Mom”.  I kindly reply, “If talking about it didn’t help, I wouldn’t have a job”.  As a parent, it hurts when you see your children hurting and for whatever reason, they don’t want to share their pain with you.   How must it hurt our heavenly father when we refuse to talk to Him.

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.” 1 John 5:13-15

My 4^th grader received the compassion award at school recently.  The assistant principal stated, “This is a character trait that we cannot teach at school, it has to come from home.”  This statement got me thinking about what compassion really means and where it truly comes from. 

The Encarta Dictionary defines compassion as “sympathy for the suffering of others, often including a desire to help; concern, kindness, consideration, care”.    Sounds like Godly qualities to me. 

Wikepedia describes compassion as “a human emotion prompted by the pain of others.  More vigorous than empathy, the feeling commonly gives rise to an active desire to alleviate another’s suffering”. 

 If we believe God is the “God of all comfort” (Cor 1.3) and he created us in his image, shouldn’t we have compassion inside of us?   Take a look at the life of Christ, His life was the very embodiment of compassion.  As a teacher, He taught us the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  Galatians 5:22 

Is it really that difficult to teach by example?  Are we, as adults, so lacking in the quality of compassion that we are unable to teach it to our children? As a therapist, I could not do the work I do without compassion.  I work hard every day to show the children and families I work with that I truly care for them and their success as a family.  I believe children and adults, for that matter, learn compassion by being treated compassionately with kindness, gentleness and respect.  We must find compassion within ourselves and for ourselves as well as others, then we can begin to teach compassion to our children.  Teachers can teach this quality by being a compassionate example to their students.   Can we all learn a lesson from the ultimate teacher? 

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Col 3:12

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“You, the God of all grace, who called me to Your eternal glory in Christ, after I have suffered a little while, will Yourself restore me and make me strong, firm and steadfast”.  I Peter 5:10

This is the second scripture card in my Hope box.   A good friend of mine gave me a box of Beth Moore’s scripture cards all on the topic of hope.  Since I believe it is a part of my job to help people find hope in their situations, I thought these verses would be a good place for me to start.  The first time I read this verse, I didn’t feel too hopeful!  I immediately thought, “but, I don’t want to suffer”!!  I was stuck in this place for a couple of days.  I thought, “I don’t like this verse.  I don’t want to suffer”.  But, the fact is, there will be suffering.  Not one of us gets through this life without suffering.  So, what does God do?  When we have suffered “for a little while”, HE will restore us, and make us strong, firm and steadfast.  Wow!  Those are charactistics that I can use.  Maybe this verse isn’t so bad. It reminds me of Romans 5:3-4 “…suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”  Where does our hope come from?  Our hope comes from the Lord.

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“No temptation has overtaken you except such is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it”.

I Cor 10:13

A friend of mine, challenged me to learn bible verses this year. She got a great idea off of Beth Moore’s blog http://livingproofministries.blogspot.com/ to create a 3×5 spiral bound notecard book. Write down and memorize 1 verse every two weeks. Join me!

Jamie

Sometime around the middle of November my name changed.  My sweet 9 year old boy no longer called me Mama.  My name changed to “Mama CanIhave”.   I asked the kids to come up with a list of gifts they would like to have.  That sweet little boy turned into a monster.  It was like nothing I have never seen before.  I received a Christmas list stapled to the toys-r-us catalog.  Not only did he list fourteen video games, 5 board games, a new DS-I, an iPod touch, and a myriad of gift card requests, that sweet child had circled nearly EVERY boy item in that 50+ page catalog! (and a few girly items, too!)   He also reminded that even though he knew there was no tooth fairy or Easter Bunny, he did still indeed believe in Santa Claus.

I told him that was quite a list and there was no way he would get everything on his list.  His reply was, “That’s ok, mom.  I’ll just give it to Grams”.  Now, if you know anything about me, you know that I am never at a loss for words, but friends, I had nothing.  At least nothing good.  I shook my head and decided that I needed to deal with this later for fear I would say something that would crush the spirit of that nine year old boy.

I knew he needed a good “come to Jesus talk” as my mother would say.  But, is it really his fault??  I created this little monster.  I wanted so badly to bless my children that they now feel entitled to ask for everything.  Where does this need to give to my children come from?  I am a mother!  I am a giver!  I want to give to my children.  How much more does our Heavenly Father want to give to us if only we believe?

This past Sunday in church, the pastor stated, “Giving is to teach us to be givers, not receivers”.
There is some redemption in this story.  I did have a talk with my son about realistic expectations and let him know that I would need a revised list of the top 6-8 things that he really, really wanted.  My name has not changed back to “mama” yet, but shortly after Christmas I know it will.  My daughter, Katie, told me yesterday, that instead of a bunch of presents she thought it would be a good idea to donate to St. Jude’s in the name of our sweet friend, Charlie, who is battling cancer.  Zach agreed.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
—Romans 15:13